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 The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)

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Loran
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PostSubject: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:48 am

This is the first part of a little (or big, depending on how much it's liked) story I'm writing, it takes place in a part of the world (or multitude of worlds, actually, or universes to be exact) that the series of books I am currently writing are set in, the genre depends on the books, but generally it ranges from Sci-fi, fantasy, or a mixture of both. This story will be mainly fantasy, but some sci-fi references will be made, such as the origin of some speices and races and the explanation of magic (which is completely logical I swear, but really complicated and might take a while to grasp).

Without further ado, here it is (only the first two parts are in this perspective):

The Witch
Part One - The Carrier

A small, eagle sized dragon glided across the landscape. It flew high above the ground, but not above the clouds, as it enjoyed watching the vast plains, thick forests and towering mountains along its path.

Tied to its left hind leg was a roll of paper in a sealed leather tube protecting it from the weather, the dragon found a little discomfort in the feeling of the rope but at least it was softer than the rope that usually tied letters to his ankle. Due to the comfort of the rope and the quality of the leather tube he was pretty sure that this letter was important, and thus flew slightly faster than usual and refrained from unnecessary landings, and if he had to drink he did so in flight, and lifted his hind legs above the water as much as possible.

As the plains ended abruptly at the edge of a forest and the contour of the majestic mountains ahead came into view the dragon felt a sense of self satisfaction, as he would arrive before sunset and after only two days. Hopefully whoever was receiving the letter would give him extra food and water, and perhaps a little wine as well. Although he was quite sure that the latter was very unlikely.

His stomach rumbled, as it had for about a day now. And although he knew that he would have a lovely cooked meal in just a few hours, he figured that a little detour to the trees below couldn’t hurt, even just for a snack. When he was a few feet over the treetops the dragon unleashed a noise that was something between a roar and a shriek. And sure enough, just a few seconds later a flock of birds no bigger than the fist of a human child appeared from the branches below, the dragon folded his wings tight to his body and dove straight down, unfolding his wings slowly as he went to angle himself towards the moving flock. Just as he entered the flock he grabbed one of the birds in his jaws and crushed it, he then immediately unfolded his wings and angled himself upwards so he would not crash into the canopy, the flock disappeared a moment later and he started flapping his wing to gain altitude, while at the same time arching his neck upwards to swallow the bird whole, as he did not have the time nor means to land and eat it piece by piece.

His hunger satisfied for the moment, the eagle-sized dragon flew with regained strength and was certain that if he kept that speed, he would surely be able to see the glorious white city in perfect daylight, before the light would be turned fiery orange when the sun made its way to the edge of the horizon.

After about an hour he reached the part where the forest rose and gave way for the majestic mountains that bordered county Sinderas, the mountains were made out of a white kind of stone which was so pure that you could barely tell where the snow on the peaks were. The safe way through the mountain range was through a wide mountain pass through which stretched a wide stone road all the way to the city. The dragon swerved to get a better view of the mighty fortress that arched over the road from either side of two steep mountain peaks, several turrets and towers stretched along the pass on either side of the fort and all of it was made out of pure white stone, just as the mountains themselves and thus seemed as if nature itself had carved them out of the cliffs.

On either long side of the arched fort were tiers similar to the steps of a staircase that cropped out of the massive structure, on each of them were several guards clad in bright red on top of their plate armour, some were armed with traditional bows and arrows, others held advanced looking metal cylinders which were about a foot long and a few inches thick, they had two handles, one in the back and one on the underside. As far to the dragon’s knowledge, the devices were complicated machinery powered by magical kinetic crystals, some shot traditional crossbow bolts and others slugs of hard metal, both with terrifying speed, accuracy and power. Mounted on the edges of the tiers were large ballistae, as well as a small number of larger versions of the metal cylinders, which were more or less powderless cannons.

The whole fortress was beautiful, but imposing. The dragon knew that a small army occupied it, since bandits and exiled Durla often harassed the travellers on the constantly occupied road and the soldiers patrolled the minor passes where these bandits hid, managing to travel far and fast through tunnels in the rock. The fortress itself served more as a living space for the soldiers rather than a scare for bandits, most of the men and women stationed there were merely recruits seeking adventure and experience.

But even a small dragon like this one knew why the fortress was there, for if it was just a scare it would not have ballistae or cannons, nor would it be built with so many tiers and neither would it be accompanied by thousands of towers. No, this was a Barrier, one of the many all over the land that kept safe the way to the holy white city. Not once had it been broken through, not even by entire armies armed with the most powerful of machines. This structure was kept safe by powerful magical barriers and like the other Barriers it was guarded by Wanderers, creatures which to the eyes of this dragon were just like any other human, but he knew that they were powerful, and immortal. You could slip poison into one’s food and it would pass right through their system, you could shove a bomb down one’s throat and blast them to bits and those bits would simply just fly back to place. He knew not where this power came from other than the knowledge that their souls were special, and that every single creature with even a trace of intelligence, even his own kind, revered and respected them like kings or gods, perhaps even more so.

The dragon let those thoughts drift away as he surveyed the people below him, both the red soldiers and the people on the road below, and in a small column of people the dragon thought he saw a glimpse of bright violet hair, which disappeared as soon as he noticed it. Odd, he thought, and flew on, using the road as a guide.


Last edited by Loran on Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:16 am; edited 1 time in total
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Nakia the Rogue
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:06 am

Very good, Loran. Your descriptions are excellent. I enjoy reading them. The little dragon comes alive for me. Please continue the story I look forward to reading more.


Note: We don't have numerical ratings here just warn the reader if there is violence or language that might offend some. I like your description of what the story is; fantasy with a touch of science fiction.

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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:22 am

Thank you! But remember, our little dragon is just a messenger, in the next part we switch over to one of the main characters (although only for the end of the next part actually, the rest of the story will be through the eyes of the main main character).

I found the dragon's journey to be a nice and convenient way to introduce the reader to the new world, and especially through the eyes of a postal dragon.
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:31 am

Loran wrote:
I found the dragon's journey to be a nice and convenient way to introduce the reader to the new world, and especially through the eyes of a postal dragon.

As long as the dragon doesn't go postal! Wink

It's a very nice start and using this dragon is a clever device to begin the story.

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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sat Jan 22, 2011 4:23 pm

Sorry that I haven't written anything, I've been kind of lazy busy lately...

The Witch
Part Two - The Cautious Flight

The dragon noticed that there weren't many people on the road, and those that were on it were traveling in large groups, such as the one that passed the Barrier. Some consisted of mostly humans traveling on foot, others with caravans drawn by various beasts and others by patrolling soldiers. This worried the dragon, as people only travelled in this manner out of fear of bandits or other dangers, but they couldn’t get through the Barriers, could they? His worry grew even more as he passed a small town by the side of the road, he remembered it as being bright, prosperous and open, but what he saw chocked him, even if he was just a dragon.

The houses, which just a few months ago had been clean and beautiful, were now worn, dirty and most windows were boarded up. The streets were almost empty and the few that traversed them did so hurriedly, soldiers were stationed on the roofs connected with roughly placed planks and around the entire town was a tall and crude wooden palisade. But the dragon had no time to waste, and cast aside his worries and flew on towards his destination.

* * *

The sun was still high in the horizon when the Hills of Sinderas came into sight, the massive, tree covered hills dominated the surrounding land from coast to coast; between the corners of the Sinderas Peninsula.

The dragon contemplated the range of human naming skills as he flew lower and carefully positioned himself over the road, since he didn’t want to take his chance with the predators hiding within the trees, which he knew were adept at taking out postal dragons. The first thing the noticed about the artificial pass was that the walls on either side of the road were adorned with intimidating towers and the walls themselves were riddled with soldiers, all of which eyed every single dragon that flew past. As he flew by one of the towers he felt a pressure against his mind, questioning, searching. He realized just in time what it was, and let the person in before the guards along the wall got a chance to shoot him down. When the inspector had decreed that he wasn’t carrying anything dangerous he left the dragon’s mind and the guards shifted their aim to another dragon approaching the pass, he picked up speed when he came out, relieved to be away from there. He had never experienced that before, in fact, he couldn’t even remember any of the other dragons letting him know of this, he was certain that this was recent, and that this wasn’t standard security procedure.

But he decided that the dragons at the city would know more, and thought nothing of it as he continued towards the white mass in front of him.


Last edited by Loran on Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:49 pm

Well done, Loran. I love your little dragon and will be sorry when he passes from the tale. Smile Keep up the good work.

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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:23 pm

This is the last part that will feature the little dragon, but don't worry, I've got plenty of interesting characters for you to look forward to.

The Witch
Part Three - End of the Road

He reached the city within an hour, and concluded that he had enough time to observe any changes from when he was last there. Like always, the lands around the city were covered with fields producing numerous crops, but between them were tall barbed wire fences, which troubled the dragon, as such paranoia was not something usual among these humans.

He skimmed the outermost wall of the city, a one hundred and fifty feet tall barrier of white rock, and the dragon was pleased to see that it was unharmed; the soldiers on it seemed unharmed as well. He then flew towards the gate, more out of recreational purposes rather than practical ones, as it would be easier to fly over the wall. The gate looked like the gates of all the other walls in the city; a big, rectangular opening with two massive pieces of black oak which slid into the wall when they opened. The dragon rolled in the air as he passed the half-closed gates and rose afterwards to more easily observe the changes to the outer district.

The city was constantly growing outwards, and unlike other cities who waited for the houses outside the walls to become numerous enough before even considering building a second wall, this city did so before any houses had even been built. The protected, empty land would at first be used to produce expensive or rare crops. Later, piece by piece, the plantations would be replaced by houses of varying size, all of which were planned and drawn out since the wall was built. Many houses had been erected since the dragon was last there, and he was amazed to see many five and six story buildings, all of which —like the rest of the buildings in the city— were made out of the same white rock as the walls, even the roof tiles were made from it, although they had a slight turquoise tint to them.

The dragon was pleased to see that the people were going on their daily business as usual, and that even the guards seemed at ease. Confident that the city was safe for now, the dragon made his way towards his destination; the great egg-shaped palace, the holding place of the holy stone, the pride of the sparkling white Val’Sinderas.
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:56 pm

You are a good writer, Loran. Are you considering a profession as a writer? I look forward to reading more.

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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:58 pm

I am, but I am concerned of my chances of being published in English and whenever I try to write in Swedish it takes ages and it all just turns out to be crap.
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:51 pm

Okay, this should do it for today, man I've written alot...


The Witch
Part Four - The Reciever

Near the top of the balcony-riddled palace was a master suite, one of five reserved only to kings, queens, and Wanderers. The current occupant belonged to the latter category.

Mando, a seemingly young man with light brown hair, intense blue eyes and clean, white clothes on a lean, muscular build, sat in a chair by the balcony door which he had opened slightly. He didn’t do anything in particular other than sit and ponder, as he had done most of the day, although he had read a little from one of the books provided for him. Although his mind was a torrent of thought and emotion, he had no idea what he was pondering about, one moment he thought of his wife, the other he thought of the patterns he saw in the ocean through the windows and the other he would think of is lovers, men who probably wondered where he was.

His wife Léofell allowed those lovers of course, just as she had her women. Such was the general culture of the Wanderers, as humans are polyamorous by nature; a monogamous relationship wouldn’t last forever without at least some loving on the side. Although humans had a short enough lifespan to be able to avert this, Wanderers did not have that luxury.

His mind then drifted to other, more abstract matters and then to more substantial, and then back and forth some more. Although he was deep in thought, he did not jump when a dragon the size of an eagle landed on the stone railing of the balcony. Without caring about an invitation, the dragon jumped down onto the floor and trotted through the balcony door, it lifted his hind leg towards Mando, who swiftly unknotted the piece of string fastening the leather tube to the creature. Before opening it, Mando went to fetch the bowls of food and water he had prepared for the dragon, although he had expected it to arrive at a later time.

When the dragon had started eating Mando sat down and opened the tube, he turned it upside down and out fell a roll of sturdy paper. He unrolled it, read the contents, and sighed.
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sun Jan 23, 2011 12:50 am

Interesting. Now the plot thickens. We will now see if you can make emortals as interesting as you made the little dragon. I want a pet dragon now. Smile

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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sun Jan 23, 2011 12:53 am

Well, the dragons are kind of like cats, but with the intelligence of a person, so it's more likely that you'll be its pet.

And we won't follow Mando (at least from his perspective), but believe me, he (and the other two (possibly three) which have yet to be introduced) is (are) really interesting.
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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:13 am

Great, I look forward to it. By the way do have or have you ever had a cat? My cats own the place and let me live here because I buy the food and can use the can openner. Also scratch them when they condescend to allow it. Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: The Witch (blood, violence, fake swears and advanced fictional science)   Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:53 am

I have three, and I'm their eternal slave. But I love them, so that's okay.
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