About 8am today, Ashley came into me and Rob's room and asked which of us had gotten Adam out of his cot.
Neither of us had, he'd pulled one of the bars out of the side of the cot and escaped!
So, we've taken the cot apart and turned it into a bed (it's a cot-bed). Tonight will be his first night in a 'real' bed and I can't stop crying
When Ashley went into a bed instead of a cot it was fine. It was a milestone; he was so ill for so long as a baby that every little thing like that was a major achievement but with Adam it's different.
Yeah, Adam was very ill too and, of course, every milestone is important but it's made me feel so redundant.
After having Adam I was told that I must never have another child as the chances are it would kill me. I went into organ failure as I gave birth to him and it was pretty touch and go. The doctors don't think that I'd make it next time.
If they hadn't said that, I don't think it would have been an issue. Two kids are a handful and I would have probably said that enough was enough...it's just having the choice taken away from you sometimes makes you want it!
Not being able to carry my kids to full term made me feel like a huge failure. Intellectually I know that it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done differently but that doesn't always help.
Thinking positively about it gets me through the day most of the time but some days (especially days like today) I just feel like the worst mother in the world.
As I see the kids grow up it reminds me that I screwed up being pregnant and I'll never have the chance to try again and get it right!
Seven deadly sins, seven days in a week....have a fabulous week.
And the Lord said to John "Come forth and receive eternal life" but John came fifth and won a toaster
Carabas said I'm adorable and he's the boss so you all have to listen!